Breakups are the worst and everyone who has been in one will tell you that you will eventually get over it, which is true, but in the midst of a freshly bruised ego and a broken heart it feels impossible. Everyone deals with breakups in different ways, and while some ways may be a better option than others, it is a personal journey that one must take and figure out own their own. Afterall there is no simple guidebook on how to deal with matters of the heart because we are all so complex and our relationships so unique.
This my personal account of how my Pit Bull Bentley helped me get over a nasty breakup and helped me heal my broken little heart.
I had been in an on again off again, long term relationship, while definitely not the healthiest, looking back, there was just something that kept us together throughout all the madness of what our relationship was. The crutch we used and that many others can relate to was comfort and fear of being alone. This will keep you in situations that are not the best for you, but why? Because as humans we need company and we don't like failure. When a relationship doesn't work out it is a failure so we try so hard to stop that failure in its tracks even if it is truly best to let go.
"When a relationship doesn't
work out it is a failure so we
try so hard to stop that failure
in its tracks even it it is truly
best to let go."
So here I was in a relationship that I was fighting to make work because I couldn't deal with failure after investing so many years into a relationship. I stuck around through thick and thin, ups and downs. This man put me through hell and back but I stayed strong until one day I couldn't do it anymore. He was with another woman and I was devastated, crushed, hurt, angry, depressed, livid, enraged, horrified, and every emotion in between. The fact that he rubbed it in my face and posted pictures of them together on Social Media made it even harder to digest. As hard as I tried not to, I looked at those pictures, as do many people in my situation, comparing myself to her and asking question after question just trying to rack my head around it. How could he chose her over me after everything that we had been through?
After spending weeks depressed and feeling sorry for myself I decided that I needed to stop being so pathetic. I was in my backyard one day and Bentley laid her head on my lap like she had been doing everyday and just sat there with me looking up at me with those golden eyes. I realized that I hadn't even taken her on a walk throughout this depression and I felt bad about it.
This was just what I needed, someone to get me off my a** and out of the house so I could stop moping around like a fool. I decided that we would go on a hike because the outdoors always made me feel better and you know what, it absolutely did! We hiked up to a high point on a hill and looked down at the whole valley while I reflected on my life. This was so therapeutic to me that I started going hiking with Bentley more and more and felt better and better as each day went by.
"This was just what I needed,
someone to get me off my a** and
out of the house so I could stop
moping around like a fool."
This quality time with Bentley inspired me to train her more and in a matter of 2 weeks I had taught her 5 new tricks. I was feeling more than better at this point because my mind was off of this unhealthy relationship with the cheater that didn't appreciate me and on something more positive. I was getting into better shape and my dog was getting more and more trained as the weeks went by.
What I hadn't realized up until this point was that Bentley was there for me throughout the whole ordeal. She couldn't talk but she empathized with me in the only way she knew how, by being present. When I was going through my depression and slept the days away she would come lay on the floor next to my bed and stay there with me the whole time. When I was crying and miserable she would lick my hand and give me her little Pit Bull smile. When I was angry she would distract me by bringing me her favorite toy for me to throw around. I had missed all these little signs because I was so engulfed in myself that I only realized how she played a part in my healing until after I was healed.
When you start looking outside of yourself you realize things. I learned that not everything is my fault and that people do not change and become the person you want them. I learned that the best way to heal is with time and that a positive attitude and constructive distraction will help. I learned that a dog is capable of showing emotion and empathy. I learned that I truly love my dog and that Pit Bulls are such caring creatures if you give them the time and training they need to flourish.